Last week I provided the warm and fuzzies by telling you all the five things I miss about Tune Trucks. Now, I’d like to share with you all, the five things I do not miss about Tune Trucks. There are of course ups and downs to all types of work, but this job has some real quirks.
#5 The Trucks
I have a real love-hate relationship with those things. They’re beautiful beasts and
built to last, but sometimes it feels like you’re driving a tank with a particularly bad turning circle through central London. And if it’s mod cons you’re after, look no further, because most Defender’s come fully equipped with a cup holder (and I HAD to say most because one of them doesn’t even have that!). But like I said, they’re well built, and at this rate, the only thing that will remain after the calamity that is 2020, will be cockroaches and Land Rover Defenders.
#4 The Guy That keeps asking to play weird songs
This is a phenomenon I would like to do a PhD thesis on. Let me set the scene. I’m there, pumping tunes to hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. Everyone is happy and enjoying life, dancing their way through the day. Then, a shifty young fella, usually in a cap, sneaks up behind the truck and starts trying to get my attention. Now he does this in a few ways. He will sometimes try to call ‘DJ’ much like calling all bus drivers ‘Drive’, but the difference is we’re surrounded by incredibly loud music, and I’m wearing headphones. Next, he will move onto tapping the side of the truck, like it’s the door into us suddenly playing his Spotify playlist from his phone. Finally, he will climb up the side of the truck, using the wheel to aid his climb, and will tap on my shoulder. He has my attention. Then he asks for a song, I pretend to have heard him, then I don’t play his song because there are many, many people here not just him, and even if it was just him, I wouldn’t play his silly little TikTok song anyway. I know I’m ranting, but it’s a weird thing that happens and I don’t miss it.
This point has been exemplified fully in a previous blog post entitled ‘Free Hug Jeremy’, but if I may, I would like to reiterate the point. Ben (TT co-owner) does not believe in luxury when it comes to accommodation. The cheapest thing on Air BnB will usually do the job. Which is why accommodation with Tune Trucks is like a box of chocolates where almost every chocolate tastes like crap. It may be a nice clean room with running water, or it could be a slum somewhere in Belgium where you have to take shifts to make sure the door isn’t knocked down by some lunatic that has been knocking on the door since 4 am. Sometimes, when I hear we’re staying in a Travelodge I shed a happy tear and hug the person closest to me (pre-covid times, obviously).
#2 Set Up
This is where all the stress comes from. Which is strange, because it’s just before all the fun happens. Each job is unique with their own specific set of requirements, each involving a lot of planning. No matter how easy we make it look, and how seamlessly we pull it off, it can be stressful. An example of such a case was a job we did for the London Marathon. We had four trucks at various points on the course, and we travelled up in convoy the night before. Disaster struck and one of the trucks broke down on the way, so we had to tow it to the Travelodge. Little did we know that we’d convoyed, whilst towing one of the trucks, to the wrong Travelodge. Off we went again trying to find the Travelodge we had actually booked, making it a very late night. The next morning we got up stupidly early (common for TT) and were faced with getting all trucks in position before the race started, whilst also towing the broken-down truck through central London, dropping it off in its location then shooting off to another location to set up the truck that had to tow it. It was a mad weekend, and one nobody would know about if I hadn’t written this, as everything ran smoothly on the day. It takes a lot of effort to make things look so easy.
You’ve probably experienced this annoyance when you get your tangled headphones out of your pocket and it becomes like one of those mazes where you have to follow the lines, trying to guess the right path out of the messy maze. Imagine that, but multiplied by a million and you’ll understand the number of cables we deal with at Tune Trucks. And when you’re packing down after a job, and it’s dark and it’s raining, detangling cables would cause even Mother Teresa to lose her rag. It’s like trying to untangle a spiderweb of lies and deceit.
So there you have it, 5 things that I don’t miss about Tune Trucks, although I must admit, it took me a while to think of these. It’s a pretty sweet gig overall!